so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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