I wish I could teleport
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
