She is in my trunk
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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