Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
