not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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