the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
