Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
