Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
