i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
