I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
