haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My breasts were aching with rage.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Holy sore nipples Batman
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
