I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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