Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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