I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Plan B is the new Plan A
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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