Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
