What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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