There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
