I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
