Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
