great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
