He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
