yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize