He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
