I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
