Tell her she can't have a vagina
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
