Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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