Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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