even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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