Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
