Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize