I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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