my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
