used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
