Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
