i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
