Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
