Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize