even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
