I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
did i walk over a car last night?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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