Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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