You really coming over, don't trick.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
