a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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