I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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