I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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