So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
