1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This is classic penis vs brain.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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