she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
