so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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