I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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