billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
