if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
