There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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