i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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