I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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