U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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