If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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