My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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