I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize