all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize